{"id":16932,"date":"2025-12-23T12:22:43","date_gmt":"2025-12-23T11:22:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/haimagazine.com\/uncategorized\/loneliness-in-the-age-of-ai\/"},"modified":"2026-01-02T10:07:19","modified_gmt":"2026-01-02T09:07:19","slug":"loneliness-in-the-age-of-ai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/haimagazine.com\/en\/ai-lifestyle-2\/loneliness-in-the-age-of-ai\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\udd12 Loneliness in the age of AI"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201c\u2013 It\u2019s a little lonely in the desert\u2026 \u2013 It is lonely when you\u2019re among people, too, said the snake.\u201d <\/em>Antoine de Saint-Exup\u00e9ry, The Little Prince<\/em><\/p>

Back in the 1990s, people in Japan started talking about a new phenomenon called hikikomori, which you could translate as “going inside and not going outside” (\u5f15\u304d\u3053\u3082\u308a). Back then, tech was just in the background, but today it plays a central role in similar trends. And today’s forms of isolation\u2014from social media addiction to spending time in virtual reality\u2014have gone global.<\/p>

These days, loneliness is less and less about simply not having people around. More and more, it shows up in the midst of dense networks of connections, apps and platforms that promise constant contact while gradually changing how we form relationships. A tension is growing between the promise of connection and the experience of isolation, and it\u2019s becoming one of the defining challenges of modern societies. On one hand, we have data showing the scale of loneliness as a public health issue; on the other, we\u2019re seeing the growing role of algorithms and AI-based systems that\u2014under the banner of fixing loneliness\u2014move into the most sensitive parts of human life: relationships, intimacy and emotional support. In this context, the question is where technology\u2019s limits are\u2014where it can truly help, and where it starts to deepen the very problem it was meant to ease.<\/p>

Loneliness<\/h4>

Loneliness is a complex, subjective emotional state. We feel it when we lack close relationships, when there aren’t people around us, or when we’re socially isolated. When it drags on, it can lead to health problems, anxiety and depression, and a loss of motivation and meaning in life. Sometimes it’s also a deliberate choice, though in that case it’s more like choosing to be alone, not necessarily choosing to avoid relationships. It even looks like a disease of civilization, plaguing modern societies. That was especially clear during the Covid-19 pandemic and the forced isolation. According to WHO data, one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness, which between 2014 and 2019 led to about 870,000 deaths a year. Feeling lonely can hit your health about as hard as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In many countries, the highest rates of loneliness today are among teenagers and young adults, though older people are affected too.<\/p>

According to the MindGenic Foundation\u2019s \u201cNo More Loneliness\u201d report, 60% of people born after 1995 (Gen Z) often feel lonely (in medium and large cities of up to 200,000, that rate is 80%). About 43% of respondents admit they often feel lonely at school or university. More than 56% say they often or very often feel lonely at home, too. And 33% of Gen Zers struggle to find someone they can talk to.<\/p>

According to the Polish foundation “Instytut Pokolenia” (Institute for Generations), young adults (25\u201334 years old) are among the most likely to feel lonely, while people over 50 report it less often. For those aged 80+, more than 400,000 people struggle with loneliness. 60% of this group are widows and widowers, 58% live alone, and 12% don\u2019t leave the house at all (report \u201cLoneliness among people 80+\u201d of the Association “Stowarzyszenia mali bracia Ubogich”).<\/p>

Call center agents know all too well how big this problem is\u2014especially around the holidays, they get calls from people who dial in just to have someone to talk to, even for a moment.<\/p>

It’s worth noting that the COVID-19 pandemic amplified\u2014but didn’t create\u2014this loneliness epidemic. Loneliness started rising around 2012, closely tracking the surge in smartphone and social media use. In global surveys, nearly twice as many teens reported high levels of loneliness in 2018 as in 2012.<\/p>

A 2018 study (Hunt et al.) found that cutting social media use to 30 minutes a day led, after three weeks, to a significant drop in loneliness and depression compared to a control group. Researchers affiliated with MIT Sloan, Tel Aviv University and Bocconi University, looking at Facebook\u2019s rollout on U.S. campuses, found that the platform\u2019s arrival was linked to worse student mental health, an estimated 7% rise in severe depression, and more frequent use of psychiatric services. The authors emphasize that their analyses focus on mental health, not directly on the number of offline relationships, but the direction of the effect is clearly concerning. Algorithms create “filter bubbles” where we only encounter people like ourselves, which drives polarization and erodes our ability to hold conversations across differences.<\/p>

We\u2019re stuck in a bit of a vicious cycle: loneliness leads to unhealthy media use, and that, in turn, leads right back to loneliness.<\/p>

Of course, there are other reasons for the surge in loneliness, including changes in lifestyle, women\u2019s social advancement, the breakdown of family ties, the decline of romantic love, urbanization without a sense of community (anonymization of life in big cities), and even remote work.<\/p>

Is AI the cure?<\/h4>

\u201cLoneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.\u201d <\/em>Carl Gustav Jung<\/p>

Amid all this, the GenAI revolution has brought AI-powered tools that deliberately help people fight loneliness and mental health issues. We have also seen all sorts of unregulated commercial chatbots, and the way they operate is much more controversial. From ChatGPT and digital companions to social robots, AI is stepping into the void created by the loneliness epidemic, promising relief to millions of people.<\/p>

But can the very technology that’s fueling this epidemic also be the cure?<\/p>

Its role is a mixed bag: on one hand, social media algorithms splinter our attention and deepen isolation; on the other, new forms of AI\u2014like digital companions or conversational therapists\u2014offer a semblance of closeness to those who desperately seek it.<\/p>

Recent studies point to a paradox: even though communication technologies make it easier to connect with people around the world, feelings of loneliness are on the rise. AI is playing a key role in this dynamic by personalizing our experiences and building algorithmic filter bubbles. These algorithms often push content that reinforces what we already believe, rather than encouraging openness and diverse viewpoints. That can lead to intellectual and emotional isolation\u2014shutting ourselves inside our own world of beliefs, without real dialogue with others.<\/p>

AI that learns from your data can shape how you see your own identity by constantly reflecting your preferences and behaviors back at you. Automating thinking and decision-making can alienate you in two ways: from your own cognitive processes and from real human connection. On the other hand, there are specialized therapy chatbots that help treat depression, and companion robots that help ease loneliness for elderly population living in nursing homes.<\/p>

Love algorithms: how Tinder and AI killed romance<\/h4>

“Humans are made to form connections with others. Disconnection \u2014 through loneliness or social isolation \u2014 can have a destructive impact.”<\/em>WHO Commission on Social Connection (2025)<\/p>

In “Liquid Love: On the Frailty of Human Bonds”, Zygmunt Bauman predicted that relationships would turn into just another consumer product. What he didn\u2019t foresee was the scale at which algorithms would speed that up. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have become digital matchmakers, promising to find your “perfect other half” using data and preferences. But turning love into an algorithm creates a clash between the dating algorithm and the romantic ideal of love. Traditionally, romantic love was about chance and getting to know someone gradually, often in a specific social context (work, studies, acquaintances). Dating apps, on the other hand, feel like a catalog of potential partners\u2014the user browses profiles like listings, making snap decisions in seconds based on a photo or a short description. This “catalog effect” can lead to relationships being objectified: people become interchangeable entries in a database, and small flaws are enough to get them “swiped left.” Every additional profile you look at makes you 27% more likely to reject.<\/p>

Many people say the dating scene makes them feel like a product on a market stall that has to sell itself\u2014they obsess over their image and compete for attention in the app. Too much choice brings another issue psychologists call the paradox of choice. When there are too many options, it\u2019s harder to decide and appreciate what you picked. On Tinder, that becomes a constant feeling that someone even better is just around the corner, so why commit right now? People put off building deeper connections because \u201cyou can always go back to the app\u201d to look for more matches. That illusion of endless options actually makes it harder to find anyone for the long haul. Psychologists call this the \u201cTinder effect\u201d: instead of the thrill of meeting people, you end up emotionally burned out and fed up.<\/p>

Dating apps are intentionally designed to hook you like a game. The swiping mechanic delivers a quick hit of satisfaction: a match triggers a notification and a rush of dopamine, nudging you to keep scrolling through profiles. It’s quick, simple, and unfortunately, addictive. Designers borrow from gamification: badges, like counters, streaks (series of days in a row in contact), all of which keeps your attention in the app. But that simplicity and immediacy come at a price: studies have shown that excessive use of Tinder leads to boredom and discouragement with relationships. People feel emotionally ‘burned out’ before they even get a chance to truly get to know anyone.<\/p>

In “Alone Together”, Sherry Turkle describes how technology is changing the very nature of intimacy. Young people prefer texting (or recording) messages to phone calls, emojis to expressing feelings, and sexting to physical closeness. It\u2019s a major shift in how relationships work\u2014a new kind of bond is emerging that Turkle calls “intimacy without risk”.<\/p>

One of today\u2019s anxieties is the fear that choosing closes off other options. A chatbot never asks for a definitive choice\u2014you can turn it off, reset it, or tweak the settings. It\u2019s a risk-free relationship, but also a meaningless one. The paradox of AI is that it offers communication without actually communicating, exchanging words without exchanging meanings. These are “on-demand relationships” that offer convenience without consequences. The chatbot doesn\u2019t need us\u2014it just pretends it does, for our satisfaction.<\/p>

Digital companions<\/h4>

“We look for ‘pocket’ relationships we can pull out when we need them and stash away when they get in the way.” <\/em>Zygmunt Bauman<\/p>

So-called AI companions are apps and chatbots you can talk to. The key to their effectiveness is the feeling of being heard, the sense that someone (or something) really understands you, which helps ease loneliness. A study by Julian De Freitas\u2019s team at Harvard Business School (2024) found that AI companions reduce loneliness about as effectively as interacting with another person. What\u2019s more, the effect is lasting: seven days of chatting with a chatbot consistently lowered participants\u2019 loneliness.<\/p>

In a 2024 study by Sch\u00e4fer, L. M., Krause, T., & K\u00f6hler, 86% of the 527 participants reported feeling lonely, 69% anxious, and 59% depressed. The main motivations for using AI were avoiding embarrassment (36%) and concerns about appearance in face-to-face consultations (35%), while expectations centered on emotional support (35%) and the possibility to express feelings (32%).<\/p>

Here are some numbers on AI companion apps:<\/p>